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My Mom Found Condoms and Doesn't Trust Me. What Should I Do?

Published: January 21, 2021 · Last reviewed on this site: 2026-10-30

This answer may be out of date. It was published over 3 years ago. Health guidance changes — check with a doctor or trusted adult.

The question

Dear TeenHealthFX,

My mom was going through my things and found condoms. I am so mad at her for going through my things and now she says she can't trust me. I am 17 years old. What should I do?

Signed: TeenHealthFX


The answer

TeenHealthFX understands how you feel. First, we want to point out how proud we are that you are taking responsibility for your sexual health and protecting yourself from pregnancy and STD’s. It shows great maturity and independence on your part. In addition, it is completely normal to feel like your mom violated your own trust by going through your things, especially when you are doing the right thing.

We recommend you have an open and honest conversation with your mom. Try to put yourself in your mom’s shoes to understand where she is coming from. Think about how you feel and how you want to approach the conversation. We know you are upset with her, but it is clear she cares about your well-being. It will also be helpful to set up a time to talk to her when there are no other distractions and when you both are in a calm state of mind. This way you both can try to have a mature conversation without either one of you on defense. Even though it may not solve the issue in one conversation it will be a great start.

We hope this helps! Good luck!