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My Friends Are Changing, How Can We All Stay Friends?

Published: March 13, 2024 · Last reviewed on this site: 2026-10-30

The question

Dear TeenHealth FX,

My friends are starting to drink and smoke but I don't want to do any of that. I'm afraid they are going to stop talking to me. What should I do to make sure we can all stay friends?

Signed: TeenHealth FX


The answer

TeenHealth FX wants you to know that you are not the only teen going through this! As you get older it is normal that your friends sometimes start habits or do things that are different from you. That does not mean you have to also start those habits or judge them for doing things differently from you.

First, try talking to them and let them know that you do not have any interest in smoking or drinking. If they are your real friends, they will understand and not push you away because of your decision. You can still spend time together with them but just say no to situations where smoking or drinking is brought up.

Second, if you feel that they are peer pressuring you or isolating you because of your decision then you can slowly start to step away from those friendships. Healthy friendships are meant to be positive and fun, you will find that in the right friend group!

It is better to walk away, not start drama and not do things you are comfortable with than be friends with people who do not respect your decisions.

For more information on peer pressure, [click here.